


Don't Talk to Girls

by HavocRoyale



Series: She's Not Mine to Have [1]
Category: Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey, Original Work
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Bad Flirting, Canon Compliant, Coming Out, Excessive Drinking, F/F, Fist Fights, Friends With Benefits, Gang Violence, Gun Violence, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Intrusive Thoughts, Making Out, Miscommunication, Near Death Experiences, Post-Canon, Sexist Language, Slow Burn, Threats, Underage Drinking, Underage Substance Use, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, bad trips
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-08-22
Packaged: 2020-07-19 21:21:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19980694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HavocRoyale/pseuds/HavocRoyale
Summary: Sonja Acquino lives every day like it’s her last: getting fucked up, picking fights, and setting things aflame to make up for the dying fire in her heart.Eleanor Oman lives on borrowed time with blood on her hands and one last chance to change before she’s dead in the ground from her own mistakes.Sonny thinks Nell could be her salvation.Nell doesn’t want to admit that she thinks the same of Sonny.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I'm back with a _really_ long slowburn fic of Sonny and Shane's sister, Nell. Yeah, it deals with a lot of seriously potentially triggering stuff so please read with caution. It handles enough stuff frequently enough that I will not be putting individual tags onto every chapter, because again _it's a lot_. But I'm really proud of it so I'm still gonna post it, and yeah it's _pretty much_ original work and characters because Sonja, Shane, and Mike are developed so little in canon and Nell is entirely my own character. 
> 
> Also! If you guys like this, when I finish Don't Talk to Girls, I'll be posting a second fic that takes place simultaneously to this one only it's in Nell's POV (called They'll Break You Heart), which will elaborate on a lot of things referenced or short on the details in this one.
> 
> Anyways! Enjoy!

The last bell rang and Sonja has never dashed out of a class faster. Three months of no classes, no annoying teachers, and no responsibilities. Well one responsibility, she still has her job at 7/11 to deal with. Although she’s willing to bet she’ll get fired by this time next month, so no responsibilities!

She's barely pushed off on her skateboard outside before she ran straight into another person.

Out of instinct, she closed her eyes, fully expecting both herself and the stranger to fall despite her stumbling attempt to catch herself. Except she didn’t fall...the stranger caught her by the arms and she now found herself staring at someone’s old scuffed up sneakers and some fishnet stockings…

_ At least it was a nice view. They had some nice legs. _

When Sonny didn’t immediately stand up on her own they awkwardly cleared their throat and asked if she was okay. Prompting her to get up and laugh uncomfortably, brushing herself off to avoid eye contact.

“Yeah,  _ I’m _ fine. You were the one in the way though so—“ She looked up at them and what anger she had at the person for getting in the way fizzled out.

They were an  _ insanely _ pretty girl, who looked about her age even. Cascading brown hair, striking green eyes, freckles peppered across her face, and a grunge-y punk type sense of fashion. She didn’t look impressed at all.

“ _ I ’ ve _ been standing here for 40 minutes. And even if I wasn’t, you would’ve run into the post instead.”

_ Well, she wasn’t wrong. _

“Right well...uh, sorry,”  _ Great first impression, Sonja _ .

The girl wasn’t paying attention, already absorbed in her phone. Sonja felt kind of awkward standing around now, but she really wanted to at least be able to say she tried to talk to this chick.

“So...I’ve never seen you around, are you like...new here?”  _ Not a great opener, why would she be new? School literally ended today. _

“No,” She didn’t even look up from her phone.

“Then...what’re you doing here?”

“Picking up my little brother.”

_ Oh. How old is this girl that her little brother is a high schooler? _

“Aw fuck!” 

Sonny definitely recognized the idiot who shouted that, the stranger didn’t look in the least bit phased unlike everyone else in the area jumping a little. Soon, Shane Oman was standing in front of her and the mystery girl. He looked a little peeved but he did grin and nod to her before looking to the mystery girl, “Why are you here?”

_ He knew her? _

The girl rolled her eyes, pocketing her phone in her back pocket, “Why do you think,  _ Thomas _ ?”

“I don’t know, Nell, that’s why I asked.”

“Mom said you have to help me shop for my room.”

Shane groaned and Sonja chuckled for a moment before realizing that this pretty girl, Nell apparently, was Shane’s sister.  _ Fuck. She’d heard a lot of things about his sister, she wasn’t expecting her to be hot though. _

“Don’t whine so much, it’s not like you had plans today,” It’s hard not to laugh at Nell’s blunt shutdown, especially when Shane is the target.

Suddenly Shane wrapped an arm around Sonja’s shoulders, “Well, maybe me and Sonny were gonna go to the skate park or somethin’!”

Nell casted a side-eyed glance to Sonja before looking back to her brother, “Mom said you’re grounded.”

“Well, Ma really likes Sonny! She wouldn’t have minded.”

“Why don’t I believe you?” 

She wasn’t sure if she should be offended by that or not. Was that a jab at her poor first impression or just a jab at Shane?

“Cause you suck? I dunno, but it’s true. Ma thinks Sonny’s like some kinda godsend of a friend,” Shane was laughing and Sonny had to admit she would be laughing too if Nell’s focus wasn’t entirely on her. Dark green eyes staring her down, she felt really vulnerable and she’s not entirely sure if she likes it or not.

“Really now?” Nell quirked an eyebrow, eyes still steady on Sonja.

_ Consider herself thoroughly intimidated and maybe a little turned on. Sue her, she definitely likes it a little. _

“Yeah, it’s only cause Sonny throws the blame of all her fuckups onto Sarks and Hub and Ma like totally believes her for some reason.”

Sonja elbows Shane in the side for that remark. He retaliates by pulling her beanie down over her eyes. A few minutes of childish bickering and suddenly there’s a hand on Sonja’s shoulder, pushing her back away from Shane and another hand square in the bigger guy’s chest pushing him back as well. Nell swoops in between the two of them and holds out a small slip of paper to Sonny, a devilish smirk across her face.

She hates to admit it, but she flounders for a moment before taking the piece of paper and reading it. It was a phone number, “Uh…”

“Nope!” Shane nabbed the number from her hands, “You are  _ not _ hitting on my friends!”

Nell rolled her eyes, “Who said I was hitting on her? All I did was give her my number, Thomas.”

“Stop calling me that! And I’m not stupid, I know you’re hitting on her,  _ Eleanor _ .”

“Go to hell, Thomas. I wouldn’t touch one of your friends with a hundred foot pole,” Sonja hates to admit how that kind of actually hurt to hear, Nell turned back to her and pulled a sharpie that was sticking out of the side pocket of Sonja’s backpack, “Give me your arm.”

To say she was a little confused was an understatement, but she complied nonetheless. Nell was quick to grab her hand with her free hand, popping the cap off the marker with her teeth and scribbling her number in big letters across Sonja’s forearm. She smiled and saw Nell mirror her when Shane groaned from behind her.

Shane stomped off towards, presumably, Nell’s car. Before Nell ran after her brother, she shot Sonny a wink. Sonja could hear the siblings bickering about something as they got further into the parking lot. She took a moment to study the sharpie on her arm, Nell had written so quickly she expected it to be completely illegible but she was pleasantly surprised. She’d also signed it with “Nellie” and a heart beside it. 

_ Sonja’s heart is not skipping a beat. She only just met this girl...and she’s Shane’s fucking sister. _

* * *

Sonny doesn’t text Nell later that day...or the next day...or the day after  _ that _ .

She also doesn’t text Nell for another four days after _ that _ . Meaning it’s been a solid week since she got her number and Sonja still hasn’t scrubbed hard enough to wash it off her arm. So now here she is, at like one in the morning, sitting on the floor of her bedroom, the alcohol beginning to wear off, staring at her phone.

_ How exactly do you start a conversation in this situation?  _

It’s not like she’s new to this, or ever has this problem at all really. Truth be told, typically this kind of thing just happens and works out for her.  _ God knows why she seems to have decent luck with this part of all things.  _ But she didn’t want to seem desperate, so she waited a few days...Which turned into a much longer wait than it should have been because this is Shane’s sister who almost definitely only gave her the number just to piss him off. And for a moment there, she also considered that Nell might not even swing this way.

_ Sonny tossed that thought out of the window fairly quickly though. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to look at Nell and just know somehow that she’s definitely not straight. _

And after all of that...she was still just sitting here unsure of what to say. Second guessing following through altogether for so long that she’s pretty much sober by now. She’ll probably fall asleep soon enough...well it’s now or never at this point.

**fire hazard:** sorry havent texted been too busy with work

It’s a blatant lie that Sonja almost gets worried Nell will see through. Until she remembers Shane mentioning that his sister both just moved up here and is pretty much a recluse anyways. It’s unlikely she’d know at all that Sonny  _ had _ a job, let alone has only shown up twice in the past week.

**nellie** **🌹** **:** It’s cool I get it   
**nellie** **🌹** **:** I’ll admit I thought you weren’t going to message me ever though   
**nellie** **🌹** **:** Was definitely a little disappointed for a bit

Sonja’s stomach does a flip and she blames it on the beer that definitely wasn’t all but completely out of her system already. This girl was definitely just trying to sweet talk her. She’s an Oman, it’s in their blood, Sonny’s seen Shane sweet talk his way into a billion places and hearts and he had the looks of a bulldog on a good day.

_ Two can play at that game though. _

**fire hazard:** oof sorry didnt mean to stand u up

_ Okay, two can play at that game when the second person isn’t herself. _

**fire hazard:** i wanted to make sure i had money to take u out somewhere nice if u were free ;-)

_ Saved it. _

**nellie** **🌹** **:** At 1am?

**fire hazard:** oh   
**fire hazard:** no like saturday maybe? i dont work saturdays

**nellie** **🌹** **:** I have AA meetings on Saturdays   
**nellie** **🌹** **:** Maybe Sunday?

**fire hazard:** aa meetings? like alcoholics anonymous meetings or something way cooler that ive never heard of meetings?

**nellie** **🌹** **:** Lol first one, it’s all mom can afford and dad’s refusing to pay for inpatient again

Of all the things Sonny was expecting from this girl, a recovering alcoholic (again?) who goes to  _ Alcoholics Anonymous  _ meetings weekly was not on the list. That also rules out nearly all of the places she had as potential date locations...this was already proving to be a lot more work and effort just for what? To get laid?

_ Is she really worth all of the trouble already? _

**nellie** **🌹** **:** That was probably way too much information but fuck it, I can only imagine what Thomas has already told you about me so at least that was told on my standards   
**nellie** **🌹** **:** If the ex-gang member thing is too weird or whatever for you, you might wanna say so now

_ That’s a challenge. She could never turn down a challenge. _

**fire hazard:** bold of u to assume itd be a problem

**nellie** **🌹** **:** Mm touche

Sonja expected the conversation to end there, but instead they ended up trading stories about ridiculous antics Shane got up to. Maybe it was weird to bond over that, but it was something easy to talk about and there was no shortage of stories. Not to mention she was thankful for managing to completely avoid talking about herself.

_ The less Nell knew about her, the better. _

She was surprised to wake up the next day still on the floor of her room. She had a crick in her neck but she can’t really be bothered to mind. She liked talking to Nell, she  _ really _ liked talking to her.

* * *

“I feel like we haven’t gone skating together in forever, dude,” Shane says it like he’s joking, but he’s not wrong.

Between everything with Janis freshman year, Mike and the gang sophomore year, Regina and Shane junior year, and literally everything about their senior year, they’ve hardly had the chance to actually hang out. Not like this at least. 

“Not my fault you wanted to be Mr.Straight Guy for most of the past four years and ditch me for fucking Regina George all the time.”

_ That came out kind of aggressive. It’s not like they never hung out in the past four years, it’s just mostly been getting stoned in basements and skipping classes to pull pranks. _

Sonja sees Shane wince out of the corner of her eye, “You know I couldn’t ditch her, Sonny.”

She doesn’t really want to have this conversation right now.

“I know,” They were finally to the skatepark, the fences around it towering and all the lights off, she turned around and leaned against the wires, “So are you gonna just stand there or are you gonna help me get over this so I can unlock the door and let you in?”

The big oaf wheezed, “Bold of you to assume we both can’t just jump the fence.”

“Bold of  _ you _ to assume your fat ass isn’t going to crush the flimsy wire fence,” She smirked and Shane just groaned as he moved to crouch against the fence, “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don’t knee me in the face again, okay?”

“No promises.”

After a few failed attempts, mostly Shane trying to count and Sonja interrupting him to just lift already resulting in neither of them being ready and Sonny falling back down on top of him. (She never kneed him in the face.) She landed hard on her feet on the other side of the fence, fishing out the key to the building to let Shane in.

The second she opened the door for him he stared down at the key in her hand, “If you had a key the whole time, why did you make me throw you over the damn fence?”

_ Of course he couldn’t just live and let be. _

“They changed the front locks, but left everything else.”

“How do you know that?”

“How do you think?” He’s smart enough to guess the answer without any details, “Therman?”

“Duh.”

Shane followed her silently for a while until they got back out into the park itself, “Was it for money or vandalism or-”

“Shane, I’m not telling you that.”

He just shrugs, “It was worth a shot.”

_ He’s looking for a fight. _ Not with her but with Mike, he’s  _ always _ looking for a fight with Mike. Sonja’s not sure which is worse from him, his willingness to follow Regina George around like a lost puppy or his determination to pick a fight with Mike Therman every chance he gets. And she gets it, Mike isn’t exactly the best guy, but he’s still one of her better friends and pretty much her boss.  _ He’d also know it was her who told Shane if he found out. _

“And it’s not worth it to be the cause of you breaking your nose  _ again _ in a fight with Mike. If he bothers you that much just start throwing punches when you see him, it’s not like he’ll know the difference.”

“Ma will.”

“And?”

“I’m not gonna be like my sister. I’m not gonna put my ma through that again, especially not in her own house. At least with Nell she was all the way down in Miami then,” He sat along the edge of one of the pools, so much for just skateboarding and skinning their knees up like old times, she sat beside him.

She didn’t want to push, Shane’s no gooding with pushing, he just clams up and gets angry. But her curiosity was killing her, if Shane was open to talking about Nell right now, then she’s gonna take it. He’s been avoiding talking about his sister around Sonny since she met Nell last week.

“You know, you never really talked about her a lot,” That sounded so...bad. Sonja feels like she’s in the middle of some shitty boring disney channel original movie now.

Shane looked at her weird for a second before just grinning and laughing, “Okay,  _ Laura _ , TV’s next big quirky leading girl.”

“Oh my god, shut up,” She gives him a hard shove, nearly knocking him into the pool, “Like you have room to talk,  _ Thomas _ .”

He was smiling now at least, even if it came at the expense of her hardass reputation, “If I tell you about Nell, will you promise not to fuck around with her?”

_ Of course he’d ask that. _

“No,” She snorted, Sonny wanted to make sure this stayed as lighthearted as possible, “Nothing you do or say could make me genuinely promise not to at least  _ try _ to hook up with her like one time at the least. Your sister’s fuckin’ hot, man.”

Shane dragged his hands down his face dramatically, “God, I fucking hate you.”

“But do you really though?”

He shot her a look before smiling again, “Okay, no. And I guess the least I could do is tell you about Nell so you aren’t running in blind for once in your shitty life.”

She rolled her eyes as he laid back against the cold concrete, “We should have brought weed.”

“Ask and ye shall receive,” Shane rustled around behind her and suddenly there was a small green and blue pipe beside her in his hand, she whipped around to look at him, “Where the hell did you have that?”

“Pocket.”

“What if you fell off your board? You just gonna break your only pipe? Dude! I got that for your birthday!”

He waved her off as he pulled out a little baggy from another pocket, “And we haven’t used it once! Look, do you wanna smoke or not?”

Sonja’s still a little peeved he’d risk breaking the pipe but she gives in anyways, he has a point.  _ That pipe was really fucking expensive though _ , “You gonna tell me about Nell now or-”

“Yeah, just...listen. I don’t know a lot of the details okay,” He held his hand out to her for a lighter, “We haven’t talked in nearly seven years before she came up here a few weeks ago. And last time we did-”

He cut himself off to take a hit, but Sonja’s not stupid, he timed it like that on purpose, “Last time what, dude? Don’t be all dramatic and shit like Damian, c’mon just spit it out.”

“Look, we-,” Shane tried talking without letting all the smoke out but he failed and wound up in a coughing fit, “We just fought a lot after she went to Miami and I came up here. She started drinking and she was drunk once and-”

“ _ Drunk? _ This was seven years ago? You were eleven and she was- how old was she?” Sonny didn’t even realize she still didn’t know Nell’s age yet,  _ but if she was drunk then she had to have been in like high school right?  _ Shane passed her the lighter and the pipe.

“Twelve.”

“She was fucking twelve?” She choked and almost burnt herself and dropped the pipe,  _ Twelve? That’s only a year older than herself and Shane. _

Shane got a kick out of her surprise, laughing himself into another coughing fit, “Yeah, not like you can really judge her though. You started at like, what was it, like thirteen?”

“Yeah, but that’s- Only a year later, okay, fine, you win this round. Continue your Tragic Backstory TM.”

Shane rolled his eyes, “Well we were just screaming at each other, something dumb probably, I don’t even remember why really, and she just got  _ so _ angry she swung and punched the wall. She busted a hole in it and broke her hand pretty bad. It was fuckin’ gnarly, one of the studs in the wall had like scrapped down one of her knuckles kind of how Jason’s tooth got yours that one time?”

_ She still had a scar across her knuckle from that fight. Sonja’d gotten him square in the mouth while he was saying something, his tooth had practically skinned that knuckle clean. She’d fractured his jaw or something in the same hit though, he gave up immediately afterwards. _

“We stopped talking after that, not that she was home ever whenever I had to go to Benjamin’s but...yeah, she just got wrapped up with some shitty people and it’s not like Benjamin did anything to stop that or help,” Sonja handed him the pipe back, “But yunno, not to sound incredibly emo but it’s not like he cared. He paid for rehab for her twice, Nell said this time he told her all her stuff was packed at the house and that no she wasn’t allowed to go back after picking it all up.”

“Huh…” She didn’t expect this to be so serious, not like this at least, she didn’t really want to talk about Nell anymore... _ what’s something she can change the subject to that isn’t supremely depressing? _

Shane scratched at the scruff on his jaw as he gave Sonja the pipe again, “Unrelated to that mess, but I have fuckin’ tutoring tomorrow.”

_ That works. _

“Tutoring? Dude, we graduated…” Well Shane did, not that she’s told him she got held back this last year yet.

He laughed nervously, “About that-”  _ Oh. Of fuckin’ course. If she failed then he must’ve as well _ , “Duvall held me back. But he said I’ll prolly be able to graduate in December instead of next June at least. I only failed like three classes.”

“Well, shit...I failed four and I’m still missing three credits.”

“Ouch.”

“But tutoring? You get paired up with the blonde mathlete again or-”

Shane was quick to correct her, “His name is Tyler, and no. It’s actually, uh...it’s Heron. Yknow new girl.”

He had a small smile on his face and while she couldn’t tell for sure, Sonny swears he’s probably a little red in the face too, “Sounds like somebody’s found his very own Sandy Olsson.”

The bigger guy snorted, “Grease? Really, Sonny, that’s so not your style.”

“Blame, Damian! He made us watch it last week when you were off job-hunting. I can’t get that stupid fucking song out of my head.”

Shane started to hum the familiar tune and she decided to just ignore him until he’d cut it out.

* * *

Saturday came and went. It sucked, end of story. Sunday rolled around and Sonja was sitting in a booth across from her best friend’s sister in some shitty diner. Which is also not what she  _ said _ she’d take Nell to, but in all honesty, Sonja would rather choke on the stale fries from this shitty diner than go into any of those high end expensive ass restaurants. 

“So, this your idea of “somewhere nice” for a date, huh?” Nell startled Sonny out of her thoughts, but when she looked over at her, she was grinning so she wasn’t mad at least.

_ She has a really nice smile. _

“Oh, uh, not really,” She pushed around some fries on her plate, “I just don’t think any “nice” place is worth the trouble. They kind of suck really.”

“Amen to that, they can be nice under some circumstances, but they’re not first date material, I have to agree. People tend to act totally different in those places than they would someplace like this,” Nell gestured to the building around them with her fork.

_ Wait, is this a date?  _ Sonja’s not gonna lie, she kind of hopes it is, but what she thinks and expects out of this could be totally different from what Nell does.  _ Is this a real fuckin’ date though? _

“This is a date?” She mentally slaps herself for her mouth working faster than her brain in that moment.

Nell looked up at her with a flicker of... _ something _ in her eyes and a clever smile, “I don’t know. Is it?”

_ That sounded like another challenge. _

“I...uh…” Sonny feels like her brain is about to self combust, “I mean—“

Before she could finish whatever line of thought she was about to blurt out, Nell’s laugh interrupts her. It’s deep and rich and something about it is going to burn the memory of it into Sonja’s mind, she just knows it will.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt you. You were just blushing so hard, you don’t strike me as someone easily embarrassed or inexperienced.”

_ Now that had to be a challenge. _

The original question now forgotten and Sonny’s pride having taken a hit, she scoffs. It catches Nell’s attention and she looks at Sonja like she’s getting the exact reaction she wanted.

“I’m plenty experienced, thank you very much.”

Nell simply hummed in response, “Really?”

“Yeah, unlike Shane, I actually get laid. I don’t just wait around and mope like that’s gonna magically make girls want me.”

_ That was kind of harsh. It’s not like they have a close relationship though. _

The girl across from her laughed, softer this time, and looked back up at Sonja again. Her eyes seemed darker now, Sonny felt her sense of triumph falter and take in a sharp breath. 

“Good to know,” And with a wink, Nell broke the intense eye contact.

Sonja felt entirely too open, even after Nell’s eyes are off of her.  _ It’s so stupid. What makes Nell’s green eyes more striking than any of the girls’ eyes before her? What about her stare makes Sonny’s heart jump into her throat and all her thoughts fizzle out? _

Suddenly she’s jarred out of her thoughts when she feels a foot press against her leg under the table. Sonja looks up across at Nell, she’s resting her head on her hand and smiling, “Wanna get out of here?”

_ Oh...well, of course she’s gonna say yes. _

Once they’re in Nell’s camaro, Nell opens the glovebox to grab a pack of cigarettes from it. Sonja also spots a pistol in there before the other girl shuts it. After she lights the cigarette, Nell starts the car and looks over at Sonny.

“Your parents home?”

“No. My dad gets back tomorrow though,”  _ She thinks for a moment, not entirely sure if he’s getting back early tomorrow or late. Hopefully later. _

__ “Your place, then.”

The drive to her house is quick and they both get out of the old car wordlessly. Nell’s just a little faster than Sonja, leaning against the hood of the car as she passes. Except she doesn’t finish passing because Nell grabbed her shirt and pulled her back. She’s barely turned around before Nell’s got both hands fisted in Sonny’s jacket collar, pulling her as close to her as she can get her. Their lips meet in a bruising kiss and Sonny ghosts her hands along Nell’s thighs.

_ This part is easy. This part is something Sonja’s good at. _

She slides her hands around and digs her dull nails in just under the frayed end of Nell’s shorts. Effectively lifting her up, sliding her onto the hood of the camaro, and fitting Sonny between her legs now wrapped around her waist. Nell smiled into the kiss, Sonny took the chance to smile back and trail kisses along her jaw.

“If you leave marks, I’m gonna kill you,” She can feel Nell grin, like it’s a joke but Sonja’s blood still runs cold at the threat.

She thinks back to the 9mm she saw in Nell’s glovebox.

Then suddenly, Nell’s laughing, soft again but she can hear the edge in her voice, “Dude, you okay? We don’t have to do this if— _ fuck. _ “

Sonny doesn’t let her finish the statement as she bites on the juncture between her neck and shoulder.  _ But no marks. _ She’s unsure if that threat had been a joke or not, but she’s not about to find out. Sonja dips one of her hands behind the waistband on Nell’s shorts,  _ she’s not going to ruin this night. She’s not going to waste this chance. She’s not going to rush this either. _

She snaps the waistband of Nell’s underwear, they feel lacy and expensive and suddenly she’s thinking about what color they are and if they’re part of a matching set and if Nell planned for this. For every soft bite Sonny left in her wake, she was rewarded with small moans or soft gasps that added to the warmth collecting between her legs and the dizzying feeling in her head. She almost doesn’t care that they’re still outside and—  _ They’re still outside. Making out in her front yard. On the hood of Nell’s car. _

Sonja pulls away, reaching for her phone to check the time. Nell lets out a whine that makes her hesitate and almost say “screw it” and go back.  _ Almost. _ She pulls Nell closer to her by her waistband as she checks her phone with her other hand.

_ 10:43pm. It’s not all that late. Really, she could probably get away with this at least once before they were in danger of someone coming outside and catching them...depending on how loud Nell is at least. _

She thinks she’d rather not risk one of the Therman twins or the old people on the other side of her house walking out to see her with her hand down this girl’s pants in the open like this...or worse with her head between her legs. Sonny leans forward and kisses Nell a lot softer than is probably appropriate, their noses bump and she has to stop the taller girl from dragging her back into another deeper kiss, “We gotta get inside, baby.”

She lets Nell pull her into another kiss as she smiles, “Are you gonna carry me?”

“I can after we get in. ‘fraid I need to unlock the door first.”

“Good enough for me,” Nell lightly pushes Sonny back so she can slide off the hood of the car, taking Sonny’s hand in her own as they walk rather quickly to the front door. 

No time is wasted once the door is shut behind them, Nell’s twisting around on her heel and dragging Sonny back into another kiss.She barely has time to think before Nell’s legs are wrapped around her middle again and her hands are holding her ass. She pins Nell up against the door and Nell lets out a grunt that presumably is a good thing because she’s kissing back harder and her hands grip Sonny’s hair tighter. 

Nell tries to roll her hips forward in an obvious attempt to get some friction but Sonny’s grip on her hips holds her still. She lets out a chuckle that’s low and deep, Nell just groans, “You’re in no rush, I see.”

_ She’s clearly annoyed but she’s making no moves to separate herself. She’s still leaning into Sonja’s touch really. _

“Patience, princess,” Sonny nips at her pulse, earning a whimper, “No reason to hurry a good thing. Why not enjoy it?”

Nell lets out a halfhearted laugh, “I wasn’t expecting you to— _ fuck.  _ Preach patience to me.”

“I’m full of surprises,” She slides a hand around and up her shirt, finger trailing along the edge of Nell’s bra.  _ Definitely lace and definitely part of a matching set. _

Sonny’s mind is whirring a thousand different thoughts at a time. She started walking backwards with Nell taking all of her attention in her arms. She bumped into a table once and stumbled for a moment but Nell just laughed and kept kissing her. Once they make it into Sonja’s room, she kicks the door shut behind them. She makes quick work of the space between the door and the bed, unceremoniously dropping the girl in her arms onto the bed.

Nell clearly doesn’t mind as she barely reacts, just meeting Sonny halfway in another rushed kiss. Sonja pulls away, slowly at first, Nell’s got her lip caught between her teeth with a smirk.  _ It stings but she’s definitely not complaining. _ Sitting up on her knees, she pauses for a moment, taking in the image of Nell sprawled out in front of her. Shirt riding up, hair tousled, lips kiss-bruised, her mossy green eyes hooded and pupils blown wide with lust. She’s got one hand tugging on the edge of Sonny’s shirt trying to pull her back down.

Sonja’s really not sure any amount of drinking or drugs could make her forget this girl laying under her.

Nell just grins, “Earth to Sonja, you still there?”

Her stomach flips at the gentle way Nell said her name.  _ Maybe this is a date. Or was? Fuck specifics.  _ She takes Nell’s hand that’s holding her shirt in her own, “Yeah, I’m here.”

She takes another look down Nell before meeting her eyes with a crooked smile, “I am  _ definitely _ all here.”

“At the rate this is going, neither of us will be by the time you get anywhere.”

_ Well, if she’s gonna be like that about it— Two can play at that game. _

Sonny lets go and raises her hands up, “Hey, if you’ve got a problem with this, you’re totally free to leave at anytime.”

Nell rolled her eyes with a smile and her hands found their place gripping Sonny’s shirt again, silent for only a second and when she speaks it’s soft, “I didn’t say  _ stop _ .”

Sonja takes both of Nell’s hands and intertwines their fingers as she swings a leg over and locking them together. She pins Nell’s hands above her, hovering close enough above her so that their noses bumped, “Who said you were in control here?”

“If I was in control, we wouldn’t be talking about it,” There was a glint in her eyes that lit a fire in Sonny’s gut.

“You could always just ask, I’m sure you’d look just as beautiful on top of me as you do under.”

She swears she sees the girl below her turn red even in the dark. The fuzzy feeling is her head is back. Nell stops talking back, instead just leaning up to recapture Sonny in another kiss. She lets go of her hands, cupping Nell’s jaw in one to deepen the kiss and moving the other to hold her hips still against the mattress under them. Much to Nell’s chagrin as she lets out another whine against Sonja’s mouth, who uses the opening to slip her tongue in. Nell is quick to move her hands and begin pulling Sonny’s shirt off of her, pulling them apart. 

_ She’s looking up at Sonny with a look in her eyes that she would almost believe is love or awe or some sappy bullshit. Only almost though. People don’t look at her with those things in their eyes. Especially not pretty girls like this. _

She starts to push Nell’s shirt up her body before she can spiral too far down that road, a devilish grin plastered across her features as she presses soft kisses along Nell’s jaw, “Your turn, beautiful.”


	2. Chapter 2

Sonja wakes up to the distant sound of someone talking...or yelling? She’s not sure. She’s hardly even awake. She simply grumbles to herself and attempts to curl in on herself in the blankets more. It’s not until she hears the familiar rumbling voice of her dad’s voice yelling “Sunshine” somewhere down the hall that she even opens her eyes.

_Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck._

She flies up and gives her room a onceover, _Where’s Nell?_

Throwing the blanket off of herself, she rushes to grab the first pair of basketball shorts she finds on the floor and slip them on, stumbling over as she tries to hop around and find a shirt to throw on. After taking another quick glance around her room to _really_ make sure she didn’t somehow just _miss_ Nell somehow, which yeah as if she’d ever just look over that girl, she opens the door just in time to see her dad standing tall on the other side. He was clearly about to just walk in without so much as a knock first. He has something in his hand.

He smiled, big and cheesy, “Sunshine!”

_She loved her dad. She really did. But he kind of really sucked._

Gordon Acquino is not a good father, he’s not her mom by any means, but between being vaguely homophobic, always on the road and out of the house, and a general obliviousness to Sonja’s own alcohol and drug problem (or even just her “behavior problems” as the teachers call it,) he is not a good parent. If he does anything right, it’s that he doesn’t force her to hug him when he comes home and he doesn’t try to micromanage her life.

“One of your hats was on the floor in front of the front door. Must’ve dropped it or somethin’,” He pushes the small piece of grey cloth towards her.

It’s a stark reminder that she still doesn’t know where Nell is. _She wouldn’t have just left without a word, would she? Surely it meant at least a little more to her last night, she would have left a note or something, right?_

“Uh, thanks, Pops.”

This was just awkward now. He’s just standing in her doorway like he’s expecting her to say more or something.

Her dad simply nodded, “Right. Well...it’s good to see you. We should catch up later if you’re not working tonight.”

Sonny does actually have work tonight, she wasn’t planning on going but if it keeps her out of the house for the night, then she’ll show up. She just needs some more time before talking to her dad.

“We can watch Law & Order just like when you were younger and—”

“I’m working graveyard today,” She shuts the door in his face, leaning against it and waiting for him to walk away.

She hears him sigh and his footsteps recede as he goes into his own room and shuts his door. _Fuck._ It’s too fucking early for this. Sonja lumbers over to her bed and opens the cabinet of her nightstand. She pulls out the half empty bottle of Maker’s Mark and takes a swig straight from the bottle. It burns the back of her throat and she hasn’t even checked the time but she knows it’s too early to be drinking by any standards except her own. But goddamnit, she didn’t drink most of the day yesterday and she fucking _needs_ this.

_She needs this drink and the alcohol and the inebriation of it all. That was a big word. Good job, boozer._

Sonja was content to just sit on her bed and try to finish the bottle in silence. Until she could hear her phone going off...somewhere. 

_Fuck, where is it?_

She set the bottle on top of the table and stood up, unsure of where to start her search. The vibrating is muffled by the shag carpet enough and, lucky her, she doesn’t have the ringer on. The first thing Sonny does is dig through all the scattered articles of clothing around her room.

_No dice._

Whoever it is trying to get in touch with her, they’re persistent if nothing else. She hopes it’s Nell, but a small voice at the back of her head tells her there’s no way it is. She downs another big swallow of whiskey before going back to her search. _She is not thinking about Nell right now. She refuses to._ Sonja bundles her comforter up and shakes it, thankfully, her phone falls out of the blanket. 

Picking it up, she sees the culprit is none other than Mike Therman. His contact picture takes up the entire screen. _God, it’s an old picture too._ He’s only just got his tongue piercing that day, they’d gone to the 7/11 for slushies immediately after and stained his tongue blue with slushies. The absence of the scar across his throat stands out almost as much as his jet black, shaggy hair. _Nowadays, he keeps his hair nearly buzzed and half dyed and bleached._ He looked less like a douche than he did now, Sonny blames those stupid fake silver fang crowns he’s got now.

She checks the time before answering: 6:27am. _Why the fuck is he calling her at six in the morning?_

“Hey, sunshine,” She can hear the smirk in his voice. He knows damn well that she doesn't even like it when her dad calls her that, let alone him of all people.

With a groan, she replies, “Fuck off, don’t start with that crap, Mikey. Why are you calling me so early?”

“I dunno. Why are you answering so early?”

“ _Mikey_ —“

“When does the reputable Sonja Acquino wake up before noon without her best pal kicking her door down to get her ass up?”

So maybe that wormed a laugh out of her, “I don’t know? Probably ‘cause my dad all but came barging in on me while I was asleep?”

“Oh? So you’re telling me it has nothing to do with the hot piece I saw leaving in the fuckin’ 67 camaro?” Of course he’s asking about Nell. _Of course he saw her leave._

Sonny does what she does best and avoids the question outright, “Please don’t call her that shit, Mike. You know that kind of crap pisses me off.”

“Okay, okay, fine. I won’t compliment your little fuckbuddy.”

Not one word in that sentence settled with her right. She doesn’t have the patience to fight with him about how what he said definitely _was not_ a compliment though, “We’re not fuckbuddies.”

“Okay, so your girlfriend?”

“I— We’re not— It’s not like that, Mike,” _She needed to drink._

Sonja quickly found her place back on the edge of her mattress, holding the open bottle in her free hand and nursing it. Mike was cackling on the other end of the line.

“Okay, so you’re telling me...that you brought that chick into your house and _didn’t_ bang her? Sonny, I know you struggle in the smarts department, but you’ve gotta be joking right?”

_She really hated him sometimes. Moments like this made her wonder why they’re even still friends at this point._

“Not everything is about sex, Michael. I know _that’s_ a little tough for you to understand, but—“

“Ah, you’re right, my friend,” He paused and Sonja’s smart enough to know she didn’t win, “It’s also about drugs and alcohol.”

She rolls her eyes, “Alright, whatever, dude. If this is the only reason you called, I’m hanging up and going back to bed.”

“Wait! We should chill later, the gang’s goin’ raid the 7/11 tonight. You should tag along, it’s been too long since you raided with us.”

“Can we not raid my job? I have the graveyard shift and I can’t get caught helping you.”

“Aw, no worries, Sunshine—“

“Mike, don’t you dare,” She’s about to hang up but she doesn’t want to be out of the loop if they’re actually going to raid her fucking workplace while she’s clocked in tonight.

“We won’t get you caught for helping. You act like we don’t own squibs. We bring the fake guns, _act_ like we’re threatening you, and you play the scared damsel. If anything, you’ll get a raise out of it, guarantee it.”

Her blood felt like ice, _they wanted to have her stare down the barrel of a fucking gun? A gun in the hands of one of the dumbasses who think they’re tough shit because a school like Northshore calls them “gangsta” and they deal drugs? Absolutely the fuck not._

“I’m not letting you or any of the others aim a fucking gun at my head, Mikey. Squib or not.”

“Buzzkill.”

Sonja hangs up on him. There’s not enough alcohol in the world to ready her to deal with his crap so early. But she can go back to sleep, that’s for sure.

She wakes up again around two. The TV from the living room is loud, blaring whatever shitty cop show her dad is watching. She’ll have to face him one way or another, might as well get it over with.

Sonny checks her phone before getting up, silently hoping to see a message or a missed call or _something_ from Nell. All she finds is Mike and Glen.

 **micycle thermos:** fine be like that ig  
**micycle thermos:** u owe us for tonight tho  
**micycle thermos:** u cant keep skipping out on us

 **glenjamin coconut:** be careful with Mike today  
**glenjamin coconut:** he’s being weird and shit

_Little late for the warning, Glen._

She doesn’t respond to either of them, just gets up slow and sort of steady. Throws away the empty whiskey bottle on her way out the door. As she walks down the hall, she pulls up Nell’s messages.

 **fire hazard:** wasn’t expecting u to be gone when i woke up  
**fire hazard:** gave me one hell of a scare when i heard my dad get home and u were nowhere to be found haha

She slipped her phone back into her pocket once she was in the kitchen. She made herself a cup of coffee, glancing to her dad in the living room before slipping in some vodka. It was a little stronger than her liking, but she wasn’t about to waste it. Gordon cleared his throat from behind her and Sonja nearly dropped the mug. 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you,” He looked at her apologetically, “Thought maybe we could talk some before you run out of the house?”

_There was no escaping this._

“Yeah, sure, whatever,” Sonny mumbled her reply into her mug, avoiding eye contact with her dad.

Gordon leaned up against the counter, arms crossed in front of his chest, “So...how’s Shane?”

_Why the fuck is he asking about Shane of all people?_

“Uh...good? His sister moved in with him and his mom from Miami recently, that happened I guess. Shane also failed his senior year,” She fails to mention that she also failed.

“That’s a shame, he’s a smart boy. He must’ve just had a rough year,” _Sure,_ “I saw that you also failed, huh?”

Sonja almost spits out her coffee, _great, fantastic, so he knows she failed, she doesn’t get to even tell him herself?_........... _Okay, she wasn’t ever going to tell him, but still,_ “I-”

Gordon waved her off, “Don’t worry, I get it. You’ve never been especially good in school, and I’m sure if Shane had a bad year, then you must have.”

She can’t begin to list the misunderstandings in that statement. But she’s not about to correct him on any of it, he wants to think she’s some good kid and just had a “rough year” then so be it, “Right...yeah.”

“What about the other two?”

“Other two?”

“The gay ones? Janet and Darius or something?” _Janis and Damian,_ “How are they doing? You’re still friends with them I assume.”

“Yes, Pops, I’m still friends with Janis and Damian,” He didn’t look as chipper about that than he did about Shane.

Thankfully the painful conversation gets cut shot, she feels her phone go off in her pocket and she uses that, “That’s probably them. We’re...going to the movies today, with Shane and his sister. We’ll probably be gone awhile.”

She talks as she walks around him and down the hall, “We’re giving Nell a tour of the town!”

The second her door shuts, Sonja’s fumbling to get her phone out as quick as possible. Hopefully this time it’s Nell...and it is.

 **nellie** **🌹** **:** Sorry, didn’t want to risk your dad catching us

 **fire hazard:** fair

She hesitates on sending another message.

 **fire hazard:** last night was pretty cool we should do it again  
**fire hazard:** if u wanna yknow

 **nellie** **🌹** **:** I think that can be arranged  
**nellie** **🌹** **:** I have to agree, last night was pretty fun ;)

Sonny can’t help but grin dumbly at her phone. She was worried Nell hated it or hated her after last night, but this is good. This means that they are dating...probably at least.

 **fire hazard:** ok sick

Before she could say anything else, her phone started blowing up with messages from the groupchat with Shane, Janis, and Damian. Aptly named the “Chaos Crew.”

 **hoeman:** SONJA LAURA ACQUINO

 **snarkisian:** ooooooo someone’s in trooooouuuuble

 **gaymian:** whatd she do this time? :/

 **hoeman:** SONNY DID U SLEEP WITH NELL LAST NIGHT  
**hoeman:** SHE BETTER BE JOKING I SWEAR TO G-D SONJA

 **snarkisian:** SHE SLEPT WITH WHOMSTVE?

 **hoeman:** SONJA I KNOW UR FUCKING AWAKE DONT MAKE ME WALK OVER TO UR HOUSE

_Oh...well, if she was telling Shane that’s a good thing right?_ Sonny takes that as confirmation they’re dating.

 **acqueerno:** i want to talk to my lawyer

 **hoeman:** U DONT GET A LAWYER

 **acqueerno:** that’s a violation to my miranda rights sir

 **hoeman:** IDC IM NOT A COP

_Why was Shane so fun to harass?_ Sonja almost felt bad, but then again, Shane’s freaking out because she’s dating his sister...which all in all is pretty ridiculous.

 **gaymian:** 🍿👀

 **snarkisian:** 🍿👀

 **acqueerno:** also illegal  
**acqueerno:** also yeah i fucked ur sister lol

 **snarkisian:** SHE SISTER CUCKED YOU

**_hoeman has left the chat!_ **

Sonja literally cackles when Shane leaves the groupchat. He’s so stupid sometimes, she considers briefly if she should text him and talk about it, but Shane’s a big boy. He’ll get over it. _Not like he has a choice, really._ Moving on from, presumably, ruining Shane’s day. Sonny now needed something to do to get herself out of the house. She already lied to her dad about having plans, now she needs to actually make some plans.

 **fire hazard:** are u free rn?

 **nellie** **🌹** **:** Yeah, why?

 **fire hazard:** wanna go see the new horror movie about the stupid doll?

 **nellie** **🌹** **:** Your turn to pay  
**nellie** **🌹** **:** When’s the next showing?

Honestly, she hadn’t expected Nell to respond so quickly. Let alone _agree_. She almost drops her phone when she tries replying too quickly.

 **fire hazard:** 2:40 at the rlly nice theater with the recliners

 **nellie** **🌹** **:** You’ll have to give me directions again  
**nellie** **🌹** **:** I’ll be over in 5

Looks like she’s got another date. Maybe she is pretty good at this after all.

Sonja goes into the theatre with Nell, expecting Nell to be scared and holding onto her. Looking back, she realizes how stupid that was. Even with as little as she knows about Nell, she’s not exactly the type of girl who’s easily frightened. Not by haunted dolls at least...or anything really…

Instead, for most of the movie, Nell is on the edge of her seat. Her eyes glued to the screen. She may not be scared, but Sonny keeps note of how Nell’s grip on her hand between them tightens ever so lightly during the jumpscares.

_If this is what dating is supposed to be like, she thinks she could get used to this._

And when Nell tugs her into a bathroom after the movie ends just to make out with her, Sonja realizes just how easily she could get used to this. She fights down the anxiety and fear building up in her chest, instead focusing on Nell’s cold hands tracing along her jaw and how they kind of just fit together a little too well when their lips meet.

* * *

Contrary to popular belief, Sonja didn’t _hate_ her job.

…

Okay, no, yeah, that was a lie. She fucking loathes her job. But it’s a 24 hour establishment, meaning her shitty excuse of a sleep schedule was rarely an issue. Not to mention free drinks, well “free.” Technically it was stealing and anything she took was supposed to be pulled out of her paycheck. But they didn’t keep track of the stock enough to notice half the time. _Meaning free fucking drinks._

The one downside of it, is probably that graveyard shift is always when the worst people come around. Typically, her days were slow and at the worst she might get some blatant tweeker or some local college kids who are stoned as hell.

But on the worst days? Gang members, crooked cops, drug dealers, robbers, you name it. It was fucking exhausting sometimes. Her own clients hassling her for whatever they wanted _while she was on the fucking clock._ She knows first hand how persistant and stupid these people can be.

On the bright side, today seems like another slow day.

She clearly spoke too soon. Two figures dash into the small gas station wearing animal masks, hoodies, and bandanas. Sonja wishes she could say she’s phased even a little, but that’d be lying again. The taller of the two has a scraggly, beat up bear mask, while the other has a well-kept wolf mask. The wolf mask looks like something directly out of some shitty movie about how punks are criminals, with a studded leather jacket, a black and red bandana with a crooked smile and sharp teeth drawn across it, and poorly bleach dyed hair.

They’ve both got pistols in their hands but bear mask has a small duffel bag thrown over his shoulder. Wolf mask is pointing the gun at her over the counter and despite knowing exactly where this is going, her blood runs cold.

_She fucking hates having guns pointed at her. No, she’s never been shot, but she doesn’t plan on having it happen now._

Despite the anxiety in her gut keeping her in place, she rolls her eyes as wolf mask shouts at her to give him all the money or whatever, “Wolfie, I told you not to fucking do this tonight.”

Even with as annoyed as she was right now, she’s not stupid enough to use his actual name.

He stepped closer, “And I fucking told you to come with us instead of chickening out, Acquino.”

His blue eyes were staring her down, he hated insubordination as much as she hated having guns pointed at her. Too bad this barely qualified as insubordination and too fucking bad he’ll have to suck it up so long as he;s aiming the gun at her. She stared back, only looking away to glance at the other man, Glen. For what it’s worth, he looked apologetic or at least as uninterested in being here as she was.

“Just because you’re pointing a fake gun at me, doesn’t mean I’m going to fall in line with your bullshit, dude,” She gripped the small switchblade in her pocket, if he’s seriously going to be like this, she’s not going to stand idly while he is.

Mike pulled his bandana down his face, his silver crowns reflecting the LED lights above them. He had a sick grin but Sonny could tell he was angry.

“You’re going to give Bear the goddamn money, or you’re going to find out the hard fucking way whether this is a squib or not, Sunshine,” Mike raised the gun up, it was uncomfortably close to her face.

She swallowed thickly, “Fuck off before I press the panic button.”

Her grip on the knife tightened, she really hoped he was bluffing but as time goes on, it gets harder and harder for her to tell. Mike huffed out, upset and annoyed and inconvenienced, he lowered the gun though, his eyes not once leaving Sonja’s own. He backed off, arms raised in a surrender.

“Fine. You win this time, Acquino,” Glen walks out the door briskly, silent as ever. Mike continues, “You can’t keep avoiding your responsibilities like this.”

_Well, that was ominous._

She rests her face in her hands, leaning on the counter as she hears Glen’s truck skidding off. Mike is going to kick her fucking ass one of these days.

By the time Sonja gets off of work and makes it home on her bike, it’s half past seven in the morning. She is beyond ready to go straight to her room, fuck a shower, and go comatose for God knows how many hours. _A lot of hours._ Only her dad stops her in the living room, watching the news and drinking his coffee from a mug she bought him that just said “You Are A Dad” in comic sans.

“Do you work Friday?”

The answer is no, _but_ -

“Well, doesn’t matter. You can call in this one time if so.”

Of course she doesn’t have a say in the matter, “Call in for what?”

“I talked to Lena while you were out yesterday at the movies or whatever, we’re gonna have dinner at their house Friday night,” He was pretty invested in the nonsense on the television, “It’s been a while since I’ve seen Shane and her. We figured it’d be nice.”

_Well, that could have been significantly worse news._

“Right...well, okay then,” Still weird though, she’s got a feeling of dread piling up but shrugs it off. It’s literally just dinner with her best friend, girlfriend, their mom, and her dad. Neither Lena nor her dad are gonna expect her to act in line, it’s not like they’re going to some fancy ass restaurant, “I’m gonna go pass out now. See you in like twelve hours.”

Sonny rushes out of the room and into her own as fast as possible, promptly collapsing face first onto her bed. She could really care less if she’s about to sleep in her work clothes. She needs sleep almost as much as she needs a stiff drink.

A stiff drink... _fuck,_ she forgot to grab something before she left work.

Despite the fact that she _knows_ she’s out, she forces herself up and opens the cabinet of her nightstand. Sonja digs around for a moment just to confirm what she already knew.

_Today really is gonna be the worst._

She stood corrected when she woke up later around noon, the day wasn’t the _worst_ but it still kind of sucked really. Shane was at tutoring again, Janis and Damian were harassing him and his tutor, Cady, Mike was pissed off at her and she wasn’t about to poke that sleeping dragon so long as he was staying away from her. And Nell…

_Nell wasn’t responding._

She hadn’t so much as read a single message since before they went to the movies yesterday. Which, okay, it’s barely been like a full day, but _still_. It kind of sucked.

Sonja shrugged the paranoia and anxiety gnawing at her, _she’s probably just busy._


	3. Chapter 3

Wednesday rolled around and it felt like nothing had changed from the day prior. This week was quickly going from the best to the worst at an alarming rate. All Sonja had to do was stay locked up in her room and drink or go to work, lest she gets stuck spending time with her dad.

Sure, Shane had tutoring today, but if Janis and Damian could harass him, then so could Sonny. She managed to get out of her house without her dad noticing and set off on her skateboard towards her friends’ houses.  _ Honestly, what a blessing they all lived next door to each other. _ She takes note that Nell’s car is absent from the driveway.

Sonny knocks hard when she notices the door is locked and the spare key under the doormat is missing. She hears Shane’s mom call out from somewhere inside and then the door is opening. She’s face to face with Lena in all her glory, greying hair falling out of what was probably a bun at one point, thick rimmed glasses crooked on her face, and a bright smile, “Sonja! I wasn’t expecting you today, did you text Shane?”

_ No, but she texted Nell...who never responded.  _

“Ah, no. Just wanted to get out of the house, Shane  _ is _ here right?” She realizes now that she doesn’t know where Shane and Cady work. If Janis and Damian are there, it’s unlikely they’re here.

“Yes, he and Cady are downstairs. In the den,” Lena moves out of the way to let Sonja in, “If the danger duo is down there with them, can you tell them they’re not supposed to be here?”

Sonny chuckles as she makes her way to the basement door, by “danger duo” Lena means Janis and Damian. Whether Lena means she doesn’t want them interrupting his study time or that she just doesn’t want them over is a mystery. But sure enough, all four of them are holed up in the basement, Shane’s very own “Lizard Sanctuary” as he calls it. With lizard habitats lining the walls and just about every lizard-branded merchandise you can think of scattered everywhere.

Cady and Shane are, surprisingly, working on some schoolwork at the table towards the back of the room. Janis and Damian are laying on either end of the couch in the middle of the room, tossing a hackysack between them. The shitty small TV across from them is playing some Bob Ross special.

When she reaches the foot of the stairs, she clears her throat, “This is literally the most boring hang out I’ve ever seen.”

Without missing a beat, she’s met with a hackysack to the face, “I get bonus points!” Janis shouts.

Damian is laughing along with her and reaches across to give his best friend a high five. Sonja picks up the small ball and tosses it as hard as she can, hitting Damian square in the back of the head, “Fuck!”

“Five points to Sonny!” Shane quips without looking up from the textbook in front of him.

“Shane—“

He sighed, “I’m working, I swear! Look I— okay, nevermind, I  _ don’t _ understand this question. Help.”

Ignoring Shane’s bumbling and the scraping of the chair as Cady scooted closer to him, Sonja walked over to the couch. She leaned over the back of it, resting on her arms. Janis was distracted by the large iguana in her lap, Richard (or Dick as Shane liked to call him.) She was just feeding him grapes...this gave Sonny an idea.

“Hey, what if I got a pet?”

Janis didn’t even grace her with an eyeroll, just skipped straight to the dry snarky reply, “Then you wouldn’t be bothering us?”

“Ha ha, very funny. I just mean you all have God knows how many pets to keep company and I have none. Dam has  _ three _ dogs, you have a dog and two cats, Shane has  _ eight  _ fucking lizards—” She was cut off by Damian, “Actually only two of them are  _ fucking _ lizards.”

“Stop! Don’t talk about their addictions!”

“Shane!”

“I’m sorry!”

Sonja opted to ignore the bickering behind her, “Look, I’m just saying that sitting around listening to  _ Bob Ross _ while Shane is being tutored is fucking boring. And instead, we should go down to the pet store and buy something.”

“Please don’t impulse buy an animal, Sonny. We love you but you’re not exactly responsible.”

_ Go figure, Damian was gonna be the voice of reason. _ Sonja groaned, “I won’t get like a dog or whatever, I’ll get like...a  _ fish _ .”

“I think we should let her do it,” Janis was grinning as Dick stood up on his back legs, holding onto her hand as she raised it, “I mean, if it’s just a fish, she’ll probably treat it better than some shitty pet store.”

“Okay, well...me and Shane are busy, so try not to die on your endeavors,” Cady was looking pleadingly over at the three of them at the couch, Sonny saw Janis fly up into a sitting position with a big smile, “We won’t die because you’re coming with!”

“Janis! We’re working!”

“One day without it isn’t going to kill him, Cads,” Janis was already sliding off the couch, Dick on her shoulder as she wandered to his habitat, “And besides, we’re not leaving you two alone. Who knows what kind of straight shit y’all’re gonna get up to.”

“Shane! Help me out here!” Shane looked like a deer stuck in headlights, “Uh...well...if we  _ don’t _ go with them—”

He cut himself off to write something down, “If we don’t go with them, there’s an 87% chance, they’ll text us in need of help because Sonny set something on fire or something.”

_ He has a point. _

Cady looked at him incredulously, “That’s...a really specific number, Shane.”

“I’ve known Sonja for like,” A pause, “Seven years.”

“You’re not winning this fight, Cads. C’mon let’s get in the truck,” Janis was swinging her keys around her finger, tapping her foot impatiently at the foot of the stairs.

Damian bolted up the stairs, shouting shotgun as he climbed up followed close behind by Janis. Shane tossed her bike into the bed of Janis’ truck as the others got in. Thankfully it was a short drive to a pet store. The second they walked into the fairly large store, Janis and Damian made a beeline for the kittens and puppies, leaving Sonny with Shane and Cady.

The two of them are bickering behind her about cutting their study session early and about how good or bad of an idea this is.  _ She kind of feels like a kid with their weirdly optimistic and supportive parents buying their first pet.  _ On their way to the otherside of the store with the wall of fish, they ran into a mathlete stocking some shelves.  _ Martin or something _ . Sonny doesn’t really care.

She especially doesn’t care when he distracts Cady, and in turn Shane, long enough for her to slip away from them. Her attention is drawn away from the wall of fish when she passes by all the small rodents. There’s a small rat in one of the displays staring up at her, he’s sort of an off white and he’s got one black eye and one red.

_ Fuck. He’s kinda cute. _ She’s here for a fish but—

The rat rises up on his hind legs, nose sniffing the air. Sonja notices one of his front legs is kind of messed up, it’s significantly smaller than the other. She decides then and there to get him.  _ Only, she’s not entirely sure what to do here...there’s no workers around. _

She pulls her phone out to text Janis, out of everyone who’s here with her, Janis is the one person who’s not going to try and stop her.

**fire hazard:** hey need ur help i’m at the small rodents

**revenge connoisseur:** do I want to know?

**fire hazard:** just get over here pls   
**fire hazard:** WITHOUT damian

**revenge connoisseur:** ok

Janis arrives fairly quick, surprisingly without Damian, “Oh god...you want a rat don’t you?”

“Hear me out—“

“Don’t. Let’s just hurry it up before the others can find us.” Janis teetered between walking away a few times before looking back to Sonny, “You stick around here. Find like all the cage stuff or whatever you need...I’ll get a cart.”

Sonja simply awkwardly wandered up and down the aisle, she didn’t really know what she was looking for. Her plan was sort of just to look like she was trying and then let Janis actually do the work for this part. Until she hears some other girl clear her throat from behind her place kneeling on the tiles. Sonny turned around to find an old friend.

_ If she can be called that. _

A former member of the gang, one of Mike’s on and off exes, Vera. If it wasn’t for the sleek khaki pants and bright blue polo of the store uniform, she’d probably look like a really bad punk edit. Tattoos, studs and spikes, piercings, and leather jackets.

“Sonja, what brings you here?”

“Getting a rat, Vera,” Sonny wasn’t sure how to respond, all her time around Vera was around Mik...and those two weren’t exactly rainbows and butterflies together, “If you work here, I assume you can get the rat out of the cage thingy for me?”

Vera rolled her eyes, “Yeah.”

She paused but only for a moment, “How’s Mikey?”

Sonja doesn’t know what to say, “I don’t know, couldn’t you text and ask him yourself?”

“Please,” The taller of the two girls threw her head back with a laugh, “As if I’m giving that snake the time of day to worm back into my head. I’m just curious, are you two not inseparable?”

_ Not recently. _

“I don’t know? He’s kind of a dick, Vera,” She followed her...acquaintance to get a carrier cage from one of the counters, “I don’t exactly have the time to follow Mr.God-Complex’s every beck and call right now.”

“Oh, what could possibly be preoccupying you? I know it’s not school.”

Sonja hated every second of this.

Vera gasped, “Is it that girlfriend of yours? How’s Grace doing?”

She felt her stomach drop and she hesitated responding, “We’re not together anymore so no. I’ve got a new girlfriend anyways.”

“Somebody’s moving on fast,” She got a side-eye from Vera, hovering back over the bow unlocked rat cage, “Who’s the new girl then?”

_ Sonja really fuckin’ hated all the gossiping Vera could do _ , “Not anyone you know.”

“So it’s  _ not _ Dawn? Rachel?  _ Janis? _ ” Vera pulled the rat out and gently placed him into the carrier sonja was holding, “Also why am I not surprised you’re getting a fucking rat. It’s fitting.”

“No. No. And  _ hell no _ . I told you, you don’t know her, stop being so nosy, Vee.”

“Fine, fine! I’m done interrogating you,” After locking the rats back up she looked around, “Didn’t you send ET to go get a cart or something? You should probably find her before the xenomorphs come to take her back to Mars.”

“You just referenced like three  _ different _ aliens, that didn’t even make sense.”

* * *

They were all piled into Janis’ truck again, headed home after some difficulty decided where to put the boxes and supplies. Cady and Damian were worried about them falling out the back or breaking or something but ultimately there simply was not enough room in the cab with the five of them  _ and _ the carrier cage.

Shane was the first to speak up, “I can’t believe you got a fucking rat. It’s a  _ rat!  _ You’re totally gonna get bored or something and it’s  _ not _ like a fish at all? It’s like a furry lizard and like that’s so much work and—“

“Shane, shut up,” Sonny turned to stare at Cady when she spoke, she thinks she sees Janis smirk from the rearview mirror too. Shane just nodded, “Yeah, whatever.”

This time Damian broke the silence, “So, what’re you naming the little guy?”

She’d actually put some thought into that, “Oh! He’s named after— the fish? Fuck, what’s his name from the cartoon?”

“Oscar,” Shane replied without looking away from the window.

“Os— Shane what?”

He was now giving her a look like she was crazy, “Oscar. From Shark Tale? Yknow with Will Smith and Jennifer Lopez and Angelina Jolie and—“

“No, Shane! Not Oscar! No! Not that movie?”

“It’s a good movie!”

Janis chipped in, “No, it really isn’t.”

“Nemo!” It was like she’d had an epiphany, “His name is Nemo, cause one of his arms is kinda small and fucked up and shit.”

Shane was looking at her funny again, like he wanted to say something. Instead Cady did, “That’s really cute! I like it.”

_ Weird but okay. _

“Uh, thanks,” Looking down at Nemo in the cage in her lap made her realize, “Fuck, I hope Nell doesn’t like hate rats or something.”

“What does it matter if she does?” She doesn’t like Shane’s tone.

“She’s my girlfriend, dick. It matters.”

Shane wheezed, a dumb grin plastered across his face, “No, she isn’t.”

“Dude, just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean—“

“That’s not it, Sonny. Nell doesn’t date, she’s never dated. You’re  _ not _ dating her, it’s not who she is,” He was still laughing.

Sonja didn’t immediately respond, stewing in her own frustration and bruised pride.  _ What the fuck does Shane know? He admitted a week ago that he hardly talked to Nell until recently,  _ “How the fuck would you know? Because you just know  _ so _ much about her after avoiding her for seven damn years, Shane? I don’t need you watching my every move, I can take care of myself so why don’t you just shut the hell up and worry about your own damn problems for once. You don’t know shit.”

That got to him. She could feel the fire in his eyes, his shoulders straightening and his hands balling up into fists in his lap. Cady, who was awkwardly seated between them, rushed to lean forward and break their eye contact, “Uh! Janis, maybe you should drop me and Shane off at my house.”

“Already on it, Cadster.”

Even as Cady and Shane got out of the old beat-up truck, there was tension and an awkward looming silence as the remaining passengers drove off. Damian was absorbed in his phone for a brief moment before talking, “Hey, drop me off at home. My mom wants my help cooking dinner tonight.”

“Save some for me and Holly, I’m gonna drop by after we set up Nemo’s kingdom,” Sonja doesn’t know when Janis decided  _ she _ was going to help set up the rat cage, and part of her really wanted to tell her friend to just fuck off.

She didn’t really want to deal with  _ more _ bullcrap today. Shane was weird and pushy enough. 

_ But she really didn’t care enough to speak up either. _ So she didn’t, and instead she checked her phone for the first time in the past four hours...a disappointment really. What was she expecting, a message from her girlfriend? It’s not like she was acutely aware of when her phone went off and didn’t since Nell stopped responding to her texts or something.

They worked mostly in silence once they finally got to Sonja’s house. Her dad wasn’t home and she didn’t really care to know where he ran off too. After they finished assembling and arranging the rat cage Janis took her chance before she left.

“Are you okay, dude?”

“What?” She snaps.

Janis looks unimpressed, “Chill out, dude, I’m just worried. It’s not like you and Shane have a history of getting into fights. You’re like the  _ only _ person he won’t fight, I swear to god.”

“He won’t fight you or Dam.”

“You’re missing the point, Sonny.”

“I don’t care, you’re not my fuckin’ therapist, Sarks.”

Janis lets out a groan, “You’re right! Shane’s  _ mom _ is, I don’t know about you, but I think I’d like my chances telling you or Damian what’s up before I told Lena.”

_She has a point. Especially when all of Sonja’s problems seem to revolve around both of Lena’s kids._ _Too bad, she still doesn’t really want to tell Janis._

“Big whup, I don’t want to talk about it. Fuck off.”

Her friend rolls her eyes as she gives up and starts towards the door, she pauses for a moment in the doorway, “Well, maybe  _ try _ to fix whatever stick up’s your ass soon for once? My birthday’s next week and  _ I _ will kick your ass and Shane’s ass if y’all start some shit.”

_ Unlikely, but duly noted. Now get out. _

* * *

Sonja wakes up to her phone buzzing under her pillow at three fucking am.  _ What the fuck. _

**nellie** **🌹** **:** My mom said you and your dad are coming over to dinner Friday

First of all, Nell’s texting her so three cheers for small victories. Second of all, it’s three am, and third of all, she’s just ignoring all the other messages...one step forward, two steps back.  _ Quite literally. _

**fire hazard:** ur mom told u this at 3am????????

**nellie** **🌹** **:** She just got off work today   
**nellie** **🌹** **:** Your dad isn’t like a major douchebag is he?

_ Ruh roh. _

**fire hazard:** weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell   
**fire hazard:** he’s a douche but like he’s not around a lot so i dont rlly know what to expect at the dinner   
**fire hazard:** he’ll probably flirt with lena idk

**nellie** **🌹** **:** Full intention to be the bearer of bad news but my mom has a boyfriend so he’s shit out of luck   
**nellie** **🌹** **:** But I mean like...does he know you’re gay?

_ Truth be told, Sonny has no clue. _

**fire hazard:** uh idk

**nellie** **🌹** **:** HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW

**fire hazard:** I MEAN LIKE I TOLD HIM ONCE SORT OF BUT HE DIDNT RESPOND AND IT HASNT REALLY COME UP SINCE THEN

To paint a picture, Sonja was 14 in the passenger seat of her dad’s truck as they drove down a seemingly neverending road to visit family on some stupid holiday break. She’d blurted out “I like girls” in one breath that earned her a confused sidelong glance from her dad and that was the end of it. He didn’t say anything, she didn’t reiterate, and it was  _ never _ brought up again.

**nellie** **🌹** **:** He’s never met any girlfriends or walked in on you or anything?

**fire hazard:** no???? u severely overestimate myself and my dad   
**fire hazard:** i only have 1 real ex and he’s always out of town and when he isnt we dont usually have hookups at my house WHERE HE IS

**nellie** **🌹** **:** I didn’t even live with my dad after I was 12 and HE KNEW

**fire hazard:** why does this even matter

**nellie** **🌹** **:** Well my mom knows so I was just curious if your dad did

**fire hazard:** of course she knows she’s like the 1 therapist all the gay kids get sent to   
**fire hazard:** and by gay kids i mean shane’s friends   
**fire hazard:** me, janis, damian

**nellie** **🌹** **:** You don’t need to list them, I know how gay my little brother’s friends are   
**nellie** **🌹** **:** And I meant she knows like about us? That we like slept together and shit?

**fire hazard:** LENA KNOWS WHAT   
**fire hazard:** WHO TOLD HER

**nellie** **🌹** **:** Thomas

**fire hazard:** im gonna kill him

Nell didn’t respond again, leaving Sonja to assume she fell asleep...or she was ignoring her again... _ she liked the first option better.  _ Just one more day before that stupid dinner.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is late!! My birthday was Friday so I had no time to finish writing/editing or to post

Friday finally arrives and she swears she’s never been more excited for some stuffy family dinner. At first at least, half into leaving she remembers Shane wasn’t talking to her now because of their little... _ dispute _ Wednesday.

_ And Nell had resumed ignoring her as well after their brief discussion the same day. _

Her dad had to park on the sidewalk since between Nell’s car and Lena’s truck, there wasn’t space in the driveway. Gordon took a moment to admire the camaro before he turned to Sonny who was waiting at the door already, “This Shane’s? It’s a nice specimen.”

_ Why did he have to refer to it as a “specimen”?  _ “Actually, it’s—“

Sonja’s cut off by the door swinging open and a three legged  _ wet  _ dog come barreling out of the door, followed by a shirtless  _ wet _ Shane.

_ Gross. _

“Gecko, get back here!” Shane ran down the road after the dog, his shouts cut off randomly by exclamations of the hot pavement, “It’s just water! You smell like the locker room after practice!”

Because this night wasn’t already going to be weird and awkward enough.  _ She spoke too soon. _ The next person at the door was none other than  _ Karen Smith. _ “The dumb one” of the Plastics in reputation, she was the nicest one though. Definitely the most tolerable...but still incredibly weird and awkward.

_ Why the fuck is Karen Smith here? _

“Sonja!” Karen looks genuinely surprised for a moment, she sticks her head out the door way and takes a look around the yard, waving to Gordon as he approaches the porch, “Hi, Mr.Acquino!”

Sonny’s dad shoots her a look for help, he clearly doesn’t know who Karen is, there’s no benefit out of refusing to help him so she simply sighs, “What are you doing at Shane’s, Karen?”

The taller girl lights up immediately, “My dad has a surprise for Lena.”

Two things about that sentence stood out, one being the implication that Karen is familiar enough with Shane’s mom to refer to her by her first name. The other being the fact that the entire sentence was cryptic and ominous as all hell. Upon entering the small household, Sonny notices that beside the dinner table all set up, there’s a single spot on the island countertop set up as well. She’s a little worried about who that’s meant for.

Shane barges into the household seconds before her dad shuts the door, wet and tuckered out dog in his arms. Lena speaks up without even looking over at Shane, “ Shane, you better be taking that dog outside and going take a shower.”

“But Ma—”

“Shane, don’t make me ask you again.”

He groans but complies, walking over to the sliding doors to the backyard, “Yes, ma’am.”

Shane passes by her on his way into the house, Sonja’s expecting him to ignore her or maybe even shoot her a dirty look, but instead he simply drags her hat over her eyes again as he passes. She can hear his wheezy laugh echoing down the hall after him,  _ Maybe this won’t be the absolute worst dinner then. _

Gordon offers to help Karen and Lena finish setting up the table and the food, Sonny can only imagine he also expects her to help but three people is more than enough in her mind. She decides a better use of her time would be to go find Nell, who, after their brief talk Wednesday night, resumed to ignoring her messages. Finding her was actually pretty easy, the Oman’s lived in a fairly small house. She wasn’t in Shane’s bedroom or the basement of course and Sonja already knows she’s not in the living room or kitchen, meaning she could only be in one place: the master bedroom.

She wasn’t sure what she was expecting or what she was planning on doing exactly. But when she opens the door, Nell’s got her back to her and only half dressed. For the split second before Nell turned around to address Sonny, the shorter girl had a pretty great view of her girlfriend’s ass...until she noticed the tattoo “Alfredo” in some fancy font.

_ She doesn’t remember seeing that a week ago in her bedroom. _

It’s definitely not new, but it still begs the question of  _ who _ Alfredo is. A friend? An ex? A dog?  _ Not a dog, who the fuck gets their dog’s name tattooed on their ass?  _ Sonny doesn’t think of herself as much of a jealous person, but the likelihood of Alfredo being an ex of Nell’s made her stomach turn. 

“Dude, you okay?” She’s snapped out of her thoughts when Nell’s suddenly right in front of her and gives her a light shove back into the door. She’s got this little smile on her face and an eyebrow quirked with curiosity, her green eyes are bright as ever and Sonja can’t believe a girl this pretty is into her.

“Huh? Oh! Yeah, I’m good,” She leaned up on her toes, hands coming to rest at Nell’s sides, and pulls the taller girl into a quick kiss. She just barely pulls away to speak, “You’re just like super hot.”

_ She’s not the most well-spoken, but why would anyone expect her to be? She gets her point across and that’s good enough for her. _

Nell chuckles softly and kisses her again despite their stupid grins, “Thank you, but I hope you know we only have maybe five minutes tops before they finish setting up and everything.”

“That’s plenty of time, what do you mean?” She leads a trail of kisses along Nell’s jaw as her girlfriend’s hands come to rest on her shoulders.

_ It’s like suddenly everything’s normal again. Like Nell hasn’t spent most of the week ignoring her and like Sonja doesn’t have a bottomless pit of anxieties and doubts in the back of her head about everything. _

__ She gripped Nell’s shirt tighter and Nell’s hands move back into her hair and then Lena is shouting from the other end of the hall, “Kids! The foods done!”

_ Right. She’s here to have a nice dinner with her dad and Shane and his mom and Nell— _

“Shane, hurry up or I’ll take all the good rolls!”

— _ and Karen Smith and her dad apparently. _

“I’m comin’!” Shane shouted back and Sonny realizes there’s really no way to get out of the dinner.

Before she has time to truly accept her fate, the door behind her pulls out from her. She stumbles back on the heels of her beat up sneakers and Nell‘s quick to catch her with one arm around her middle and the other holding herself up on the doorknob. It was pretty ridiculous. Like Nell was dipping her in one of those ridiculous dances Shane knows.

Sonja thinks maybe Nell is thinking the same thing because she’s laughing with her. They separate and stand normally, still laughing for a moment before Nell’s got a hand on her jaw and pulls her in for another kiss. Much gentler than the others, “I’ll meet you out there, I still have to finish getting dressed.”

The door closes between them and Sonny turns only to be stopped immediately. The hallway blocked with Shane’s large frame, his brows are furrowed and he looks like he wants to say something... _again._ _She wishes he’d just speak his mind already._ He doesn’t say anything, he just turns away and walks down the hall in front of her.

_ Lately, she’s felt like she might lose Shane as a friend...she really doesn’t know what she thinks about that, but she really doesn’t like it. Shane’s someone who’s hard to lose, she doesn’t doubt her ability to fuck up bad enough, but she doesn’t want to think about how easy it probably would be at this point. _

Once she’s in the kitchen, she sees a man who definitely  _ wasn’t _ there when she got here. Tall, fair skin, neat blonde hair—  _ this had to be Karen’s dad. _ He exudes the same clumsy, but polite, energy the plastic does. He pulls a chair out for Lena to sit and Sonja swears to god that Lena actually  _ giggled _ and she kind of can’t believe this is real life.

_What weird alternate dimension is she in all of a sudden?_ _Wait— are Lena and Karen’s fucking dad fucking or something? Gross. Ew ew ew, why did she think of that?! GROSS!_

__ She tries to force that image down and away as she takes her seat across from Karen and between her dad and Shane. It didn’t really connect until Nell came out that  _ Nell _ was the one who was going to have to sit away from everyone. Her stomach drops when she sees Nell’s face, standing in the hallway. And she spends the first half of dinner glancing over to Nell eating alone while everyone else talked. She was practically completely isolated. For the most part, the parents talked amongst themselves, probably about their jobs or something. 

_ Sue her, she wasn’t really listening. _

And when Sonja wasn’t looking to Nell, she, Shane, and Karen were launching peas at each other like a bunch of eight year olds. Karen Smith was actually kind of cool, she reminded her a lot of Shane but...prissier. She’d also managed to catch  _ every  _ piece of ammunition herself and Shane shot at her, so...that was a skill, Sonny guesses.

Suddenly there was a scraping noise as Karen’s dad, Ethan apparently, got up from the table. Everyone in the room fell quiet and it was  _ really _ weird, there was some sort of tension in the air when he walked to the coat rack and pulled a little black box out of it.

_ Oh...oh this was so not happening right now. Really? Right in front of her salad? Bad joke, but seriously? _

He had a stupid grin as he got down on one knee, all eyes on him. Ethan had hardly even opened his mouth when he was interrupted by the clattering of dishes in the sink. Nell stormed out the room and down the hall, well... _ fuck.  _ Ethan made a move to stand, like he was gonna go talk to her or something,  _ cause that’s a great idea! _ Lena put a hand on his shoulder, taking her other hand in what looked like a fist and rotating it in a circle on her chest. She gestured a few other things but Sonja was completely lost, looking to her dad, she noticed he looked just as confused.

Shane was unphased but across from her Karen laughed, short and low, “My dad’s  _ deaf _ .”

_ Huh? _

Shane spoke up this time, eating with food in his mouth, “He can’t hear. Like that Helen Keller chick we learned about in third grade? But Ethan can see, just like no audio.”

“I know what deaf means, you dumb ox.”

“You didn’t really look like it,” Her best friend snickered,  _ maybe she will lose him eventually, but not anytime soon. _

Ethan got back down on one knee, ring box raised, and Lena looking like she’s about to cry. He spoke, but it came out sort of stiff and broken, “Will you...marry me?”

_ Is this what babies sound like when they’re learning to talk? Wait, don’t say that out loud. That’s probably really fucked up to say. _

It was sweet, but it had been five minutes and Sonny already felt suffocated in the mushiness and uncomfortability of it all. Unfortunately, her dad was about to make it much worse.

“So, when are you and Shane tying the knot?” He laughed but Sonja frankly choked on her soda, it burned when it came back up out of her nose. Shane had also choked on some part of his meal next to her.

“When are we  _ what? _ ”

Lena and Karen looked equally as confused, but Karen had an air of amusement about this.

“Getting hitched! You guys have been together a while and you’re inseparable—“

_ Oh. So she heard him right? Her dad thinks she’s dating Shane? He thinks she’s straight? And dating fuckin’ Shane Oman. She’s really going to need a drink after this when she gets home. _

__ But until then, her shitty soda will have to do, she avoided answering by taking another sip. Shane can handle this one.

_ Except Karen is the next person to say something. _

“Sonja and Shane aren’t dating?” She was cackling, like it was the funniest thing in the world—  _ Sonny fails to see the humor in this. She’ll have to come out again at some point. _

__ “Nonsense! Sonny told me herself a few years ago!”

“You’re goin’ crazy, old man. I never said that, Pops,” The best she can do is just play it cool for now.

Her dad is cut off by Karen again, “Sonja’s lebanese, Mr.Acquino.”

_ What? _

“What?”

Shane’s eyes met Sonja’s and he looked as lost and uncomfortable as she did, he turned to Karen, “Kare, uh, maybe—“

“She dates girls like  _ all _ the time! She’s like totally dated like half the girls at Northshore I bet!”

_ That’s giving her a lot of credit that she neither has nor needs right now. At least Shane is trying to help. _

He’s scrambling to find something to fix this and change the topic, he stands up fast, knocking the table back an inch, “Oh, sorry, I just— uh...I’m going get my trumpet! I’ve been learning a new song and—“

His voice faded as he dashed out of the room and Lena spoke up, “That’s a great idea, Bug!”

Sonja made the mistake of looking to her dad, he was looking down at her like she just committed some sort of atrocity.  _ Fuck, he’s angry. _

“I’m going to the bathroom,” She rushes out of the room like the two teens before her, she hears Lena chastise Gordon when he tried to call after her.

She doesn’t go to the bathroom.

Instead she walks straight to the end of the hall and into the master bedroom. Nell’s got the window open, sitting on the sill and smoking a cigarette. She turns around when Sonja shuts the door a little  _ too _ hard, “Did it seriously get worse after I left?”

She sits on the edge of the bed and groans, “My dad thought me and Shane were dating.”

“Ew.”

“And Karen outed me.”

Nell rolls her eyes, “Of course, she did.”

“I need a fuckin’ drink.”

“No drinking allowed,”  _ What? _ , “Wait, what?”

“No drinking in my room, or like...around me at all preferably. I’m not getting dragged back down that road.”

_ Oh. That’s right, Nell’s a recovering alcoholic. She’s in a fuckin’ support group for it, way to go, Sonja. _

“Right, sorry. I don’t even have anything,” She doesn’t really want to talk about it...or what happened at dinner...or anything...she settles for talking about what happened to  _ Nell _ at dinner, “Why’d you leave earlier?”

Nell looked uncomfortable for a moment, “I’m not exactly part of the family here.”

_ What?  _

“Lena’s not actually my mom, I mean legally she is, I guess...sort of? She raised me and she was married to my dad and stuff,” She paused to take a drag from her cigarette, “But like, I never actually met my mom, my dad never even learned her name. Just— just up and cheated on Lena and had me.”

_ This is a lot deeper than she was expecting. _ Sonja sits and listens anyways though.

“She’s the closest I’ve got to a mom, but I am far from her kid. Shane doesn’t even see me as his sister anymore, he considers Karen more of a sister than me.”

Sonja’s never been especially good at comforting, but she’s pretty sure she should probably do something right now. So she gets up and sits on the window sill with Nell. It was awkward but it was something, right?

“I, uh...look, I know she’s like  _ your _ mom or whatever, so what do  _ I _ know, but— I’m fairly certain, if Lena didn’t want you here, you wouldn’t be,” Sonny tries to force herself to laugh, “I mean she says she hates Janis and Damian, and that they’re not allowed here, but they still practically live here. And there’s no way she’s said anything like that to you…..wait, she hasn’t has she?”

Nell just chuckles and rolls her eyes, “Okay, no, she hasn’t. I guess you have a point, Lena’s not one for lying.”

This time, Sonny laugh genuinely “She told me to my face that my mom didn’t deserve me once? When I was still like...one of her clients or whatever in middle school. So, yeah, she definitely says what she thinks.”

_ God, that reminds her. Her dad’s going to make her call her mom soon, probably. Fuck _

Nell was laughing and it was the same stupid wheezy laugh Shane did but Sonny for once wished she could hear it more often, not less. The brunette leaned over, tilting her head to give Sonja a quick peck on the lips, “You’re pretty good at this, yknow?”

“I doubt that, all my other relationships were complete failures for a reason.”

“Other rel— wait, do you think we’re dating?”

_ Wait, what? _ “Uh...a-aren’t we?”  _ She doesn’t like the turn this is taking. _

“Sonja, we’re not— I don’t— We’re just  _ friends _ , Sonny,” Nell’s smile was apologetic and it made Sonja want to bolt out of the room and go puke somewhere.  _ This was no happening. _

“Wh-What?”

“I’m sorry if I didn’t make it clear, I just— I like you a lot, okay, I do! Just...dating isn’t really my scene.”

_ This isn’t happening. Shane was not right. This isn’t fucking happening. _

Her face feel and she looked back down at the floor, “Right. My bad.”

“You’re not gonna like...profess your love in flowery language and exclaim to me how you simply can’t live without me, are you?” Nell let out a soft laugh and Sonny found it hard not to follow suit.

_ No. No, she’s not because this isn’t some stupid musical or movie and that crap doesn’t work in real life. _

__ “I’m not much of a Shakespearean, I’m afraid. All his crap ends in tragedy, anyways,”  _ In his defense, it was more realistic as she’s learned first hand. _

Nell scooted over, flicking her cigarette out the window, she was now seated, pressed shoulder to shoulder and knee to knee with Sonny, “If you don’t want to, we don’t have to keep fooling around. I’m not gonna like judge you or something.”

_ Did she want to stop seeing Nell? _

“No...nah, it’s fine. I’m not gonna turn down those kinds of benefits from the girl who’s probably my hottest friend now.”

Nell laughed again, Sonny cracked a lopsided smile.  _ Okay, so maybe they aren’t dating. But it’s not like she’s never been rejected before, and plus they’re still sleeping together so— she can handle this. _

_ She’s got to be able to handle this. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shane's heart is in the right place...even if he doesn't know how the fuck to show it...also I have this story broken into 3 "phases" and this is the end of phase 1!! Phase 2 is the longest so buckle up lmao


	5. Chapter 5

Sonja said she could handle it, the revelation that she and Nell  _ aren’t _ dating and inadvertently breaking her own heart in the process by assuming they ever where.  _ But she never said she could handle it well. _ Which is exhibited well in how she’s spent her time over the course of the weekend following Friday night, drinking well into each night and getting drunk. And blowing off Mike and Glen at a near constant rate.

_ Until today at least. _

There’s no getting out of it today apparently, they’ve made it abundantly clear by bombarding her with texts all day. Monday shmonday, she was going to hang out with the gang whether she liked it or not. Her only line of defense if she doesn’t want to, is her dad. Gordon  _ hated _ Mike, he was a “good for nothin’ delinquent” and a “piss poor influence” on his daughter. And frankly, she’s always hated that he thought he could stop her from befriending him. But today, she’s content to let him hold his grudge to see if it deters Mike any (unlikely, but still worth an attempt.) Going so far as to watch as her dad answers and promptly slams the door in Mike’s face before he so much as says “hi.”

Then he answers a second time and it’s Glen at the door, “Hello, sir! I was—”

Glen’s faux niceties does little to stop her dad from shutting the door in his face as well.

It’s another hour before she hears from either of the boys, she almost thought they’d given up.  _ As if Mike would ever give up in the face of an authority figure.  _ They’re throwing rocks at her window, like shitty romeos. She doesn’t hesitate opening the window, earning her a pebble to the face when they didn’t notice at first.

She groans and talks under her breath, “Assholes.”

“Oh, fair maiden, might you join us for a joyride into town?”

Mike’s talking at a volume that her dad  _ definitely  _ can hear.

Truth be told, while she has no problem staying isolated in her room with only a bottle of bourbon and a rat to keep her company. She hasn’t hung out with the boys in a while, and maybe their mayhem will do her some good, “Yeah, yeah. I’ll meet you guys at the park.”

Glen and Mike highfive as they set off on their merry way.

Thirty minutes later, Sonja finds herself in the back of Glen’s van. Mike’s in the passenger seat, turned around to the point that he might as well be sitting backwards in it, “We might have lied about what we’re doing.”

_ Of course. _

__ “Alright, then what are we doing if it’s not donuts in Duvall’s yard?”

“Partying,” Glen’s got a big grin on his face, Mike, mirroring him, then nods to the bag at Sonny’s feet.

She can’t believe she didn’t notice it earlier, it’s almost definitely filled to the brim with every type of party drug conceivable and then some.

_ Not partying. Working a party. There’s a large line there, Glen. _

The vehicle he had shown up in should have been a giveaway really. It’s his very own “party van,” it took him all of high school to fix up and paint. Sonja had originally assumed he was just using it to show it off since he only recently finished it. Mike clambered into the back seat when Glen stopped at a red light, comfortably dropping down beside Sonny, he jutted a figure at her, “You’re in charge of sales tonight, Acquino. You’re lucky you’re my best friend, I’m goin’ easy on you. You sell everything, then you can join us in the fun.  _ But only after you sell everything. _ ”

She really didn’t  _ want _ to work tonight, especially at a party where she could preferably let loose and maybe stop being so mopey and depressed.  _ But money is money,  _ and she’s not going to argue with him again. She knows what the punishment one step above this is and she hates being one of the groups breaking and entering and stealing.

Sonja’s good at what she does. Selling drugs. She’s lucky enough to be one of Mike’s closer friends that as long as she doesn’t  _ stop _ being good at her job, he won’t force her to go around waving guns in people’s faces.

_ Not to mention parties have huge payouts. _ She could use the cash, that’s for sure, her boss at 7/11 is definitely reaching his limit.

She sighed in defeat, “Yeah, I get it, dude. So who’s party is it?”

“College party down in Chicago,” Mike reached into another bag on the floor, pulling out what Sonja can only assume is body paint (I mean a college party? In Chicago? Where they’re dealing? Sounds like the kind of party you wear body paint to,) “Tanu’s place, you’ve met him before. Big samoan dude, purple hair, doesn’t talk much.”

She doesn’t tell him that she really doesn’t think she’s met this guy. And even if Mike gives him the pass, that’s not saying much because he’s kind of a dick himself, “So is it just the one party or—“

“We’ll make a few smaller stops but we start and end at Tanu’s. He’s paying us handsomely for our services.”

_ Boss Mike is out and about. This’ll be an interesting night. _

_ Boss _ Mike is an eerie parallel to Mike himself. Where Mike normally is temperamental, selfish, and pushy, Boss Mike is calm, calculating, and has a very “no man left behind” attitude to his posse. In a way, Sonja had begun to prefer this side of her friend. But the chilling poise of this persona left her with a bad taste in her mouth.  _ He’s too levelheaded and collected _ , she’d rather be able to  _ see _ his anger than have to guess.

_ It’s like playing poker with your life and Sonny’s poker skills are pretty much nonexistent. _

“You gonna make me paint my face this time?” She asks as she looks over to him, he’s got the lower half of his face partially painted already. Mike grins, flashing a toothy grin, “Of course, full face. We need your face totally covered, meaning paint, mask, and paint on the mask. Just to be safe. We’re screwed if someone recognizes your face enough to identify it if the night goes south.”

She’s not looking forward to painting her face. Necessary precautions or not, she just can’t stand that crap covering her face. Twice she’s broken out because of it which is a solid two out of three times Mike’s made her use it.

“Don’t look so sick, Sunshine. I’d pick acne over a bullet any day.”

Glen chipped in, “Or worse, jail time!”

_ She’s pretty sure getting shot is worse than getting arrested. _

Instead of responding she gives Mike a hearty shove as he’s laughing, “Don’t call me sunshine, you ass.”

“You got it,  _ Coonass _ ,” Michael laughed at his own dumb joke as Sonja just grabbed her own bottle of UV paint and her mask.

_ A cheap raccoon mask. _

It’s been much too long since she wore this ratty old thing. Hell, it’s been too long since she actually hung out with Mike and Glen. She pulls out her phone to shoot Nell a few texts, she’ll have money tomorrow— well,  _ tonight _ technically.

**fire hazard:** we should go out tomorrow   
**fire hazard:** i’m getting paid

**nellie** **🌹** **:** I’ll have to think about it

_ Better than no response. Or a rejection. _

* * *

Sonja honestly doesn’t know what she’s expecting the exchange at Tanu’s door was going to be like. But it wasn’t another exchange with sign language, that’s for sure.

The large man swings the door open before anyone knocks, an equally large smile across his face. He’s practically naked save for a cloth tied around his waist and fake angel wings on his back. His body is covered in intricate tattoos that are then traced in various colors of the same glowy paint Sonny and the guys have on the faces and masks. 

“Tanu!” Mike shouts.

What follows was not Tanu’s presumably deep voice but instead silence as he gestured with his hands in a way that Sonny recognizes as how Lena was using Friday night.

Mike looks just as lost as she does, “Uh, I don’t speak charades, dude.”

Tanu rolls his eyes and shoves Mike,  _ hard _ , nearly toppling the smaller guy. He then pulls out his phone and looks expectantly as Mike’s rings in his pocket.

Mike reads the message out loud to relay it to Sonny and Glen, “Just do your job, asshole.”

Tanu smiled again and moved out of the doorway to allow the teens in. As they’re making their way down the narrow stairwell, Sonny nudges Mike in front of her, “Is Tanu deaf or something?”

“Nah, guy just doesn’t talk like  _ at all _ . I’m not sure he even knows how.”

_ Well, that’s something of a relief. At least she knows that she can talk to Tanu herself if need be. _

Once their in the basement, the first thing she notices is an overwhelming number of people dressed much the same as Tanu was.

_ Only with guns holstered on them. _

Sonny made a mental note not to try selling to any of them, lest they pull a gun on her. They’d win that fight for a number of reasons. Mike split off away from her and Glen, probably to go talk up potential clients or partners or whatever it is he does. Glen was stuck with Sonja though. Not to say she wasn’t intimidating herself or couldn’t handle herself, but Glen was easily double her size and his bear mask definitely had an edge to it that her dinky little raccoon mask didn’t.

For the most part, she kept to herself as best she could and focused on work. Making her way through and around the crowd with the thrumming bass of the music echoing out in her head. Not much talk aside from the generic smalltalk of “how’s the party?” and “any other places worth hitting up tonight?” It was boring. 

_ She hated it. _

But Sonny did manage to go through half the bag already in just a few hours. She passed Mike not too long ago, it’s probably about time they move on to another party. She finds Glen in the crowd and he’s quick to lead her towards wherever their blond friend was now. Mike was gambling to say the least.

Sitting at a table with Tanu and a few other of Tanu’s friends— or guards?  _ People. _ Mike did not look like he was winning whatever game they were playing. A skinny guy in a tore up crop top was dealing the cards, and seeing the rest of his get up with the purple and fake wings... _ he was probably cheating.  _ Sonny trusts other gangs’ sincerity with others as much as she trusts Mike’s,  _ so not at all.  _ It was pretty clear the dealer was assisting Tanu and his friends somehow. She slaps Mike in the arm, “Hey, asshole, are we going to the other parties still or are you just going to gamble and lose everything we made tonight?”

“I’m not losing—”

The girl sitting next to him laughed, “Buddy, you haven’t even won a dollar that you’ve bet back. What do you mean you aren’t losing?”

“Quit while you’re ahead, kid,” The guy between Mike and Tanu spoke quietly. He kind of sounded annoyed.

“He’s  _ not _ ahead. He’s  _ losing _ , Monty.”

“He should still  _ quit _ , he’s not going to get  _ more _ ahead.”

While the two argued over Mike, Tanu stood abruptly from the table and said something to the dealer quietly. The dealer then leaned over and took the cards from Mike, who unwillingly let him when the dealer proved stronger. Mike stood fast enough that he bumped into Sonny. She stretched her jaw, his shoulder connecting with her face forced her to bit her tongue. She was bleeding. Tanu and the other guy, Monty or whatever, came up on either side of Mike, seizing his arms. Sonja does  _ not _ like where this is headed.

Apparently, Mike doesn’t either, he struggles against the two much larger mens’ grips on him, “What the fuck, man!? Get off of me!”

Monty spoke for Tanu, who was glaring holes into the back of Mike’s head, “No can do, little boy. You and your little friends gotta get out of her to finish your sales, and we’ve got plans for a special guest while your gone. She’s not comin’ till your out of here.”

They started walking Mike out as they talked. Sonny and Glen followed close behind, Glen’s hand on his pistol the whole time,  _ just in case. _

“Who the fuck are you talkin’ about?”

Monty brought his face close to Mike’s, pulling his shades off to look him in the eyes, “I don’t gotta tell you shit, kid. You’re just the middle man here, we can replace you in seconds so don’t get a big head just cause the big boys are letting you work with ‘em. Now you get out of here, you finish off that bag, you call Sinclair, and you come back here after he gives you the okay.”

Tanu shoves Mike forward into the staircase and slams the door once Sonja and Glen are through with their friend.

_ Well, this is just great. This is worse than a job, this is practically a contract. Mike isn’t the boss here, he’s not even in the top ten in command here. _

__ She makes sure he knows what she thinks of this arrangement and how he conveniently left this information out before the party when she walks over and kicks him in the shin, “What the hell was that, Mikey?!”

He lets out a groan and sits up, she sees now that his nose is bleeding, “The Angels are  _ big _ , Sonny! If we get in nice with them, we don’t have to worry about  _ anything _ for fuckin’ life!”

“ _ Life? _ What the hell are you talkin’ about?!”

“I mean, if we get hooked up right, we don’t have to work a day in our lives! Our  _ jobs _ would literally be to party and beat the shit outta some losers!”

_ This wasn’t the plan. This was never the plan. They weren’t a real gang, they were just stupid kids who liked to cause trouble. Sonja doesn’t want to do this crap for life. _

__ “I’m not fuckin’ doing this crap for the rest of my life, Mike!”

Mike was standing quick, a genuine look of confusion clear as day on his face, but Sonny wasn’t stupid enough to miss the signs of his frustration just as clear, “Why not? It’s easy! You’re fuckin’  _ good _ at it, Sonja. Between us three, we could have it fuckin’ made and we wouldn’t even have to be the ones on the streets anymore. You think Tanu and his lieutenants in there do the dirty work? No! They send shitheads like us out there to do it for them, while they party and live in luxury.”

Sonny took off her mask and looked Mike straight in the eyes as she shoved it into his chest, “I said I’m not doing it. You want to be a fucking kingpin and be the next fucking Pablo Escobar, be my guest. But do  _ not _ fucking drag me into it with you.”

_ Looks like she’s walking fuckin’ home...or she could call Vera. _ It’s a longshot but she  _ knows _ Vera lives somewhere in the area, and she’s a trusted face. It’d be smarter than trying to walk through fucking Chicago  _ and then _ Evanston to her house on her own. She’s barely made it up the stairs and out of the building when she hears the door behind her and Mike come running up from behind her, “Sonny, wait—”

“God, what the fuck do you want, Mike?”

For once, he had the humility to look guilty, “Look, I told you were going to party, alright. You don’t have to work for the rest of the night, you can party your fuckin’ ass off at the next stop, okay?”

_ There’s no way that’s it. _

“Also me and Glen can’t exactly get the math down for what’s left...you're kind of our math guy…”

_ There it is. _

__ “Fine,” She sighs, she really just wants to get out of here, but she’s not about to turn down a free chance to get majorly fucked up like this, and it won’t bleed her dry paying either. Mike pays for  _ everything _ on these stupid trips.

* * *

Sonja is incredibly, exceptionally, amazingly, super thankful for Mike two hours later.

_ Well, for his money. _

__ SInce they got to the second party, she’s had a steady and damn near constant stream of various alcoholic drinks, alongside a few blunts. Which as far as she’s concerned at the moment, is more than enough apology for the stunt he pulled earlier with Tanu. Or it is until she’s sinking deeper into this couch, high off her ass, and kind of bored.

_ And really lonely. _

If there’s anything she’s learned, it’s that drinking is only fun in two ways: totally alone locked up in her room or with friends. And right now she’s in neither situation, Mike and Glen are off doing her job for her and making deals and she’s sitting on a stranger’s couch surrounded by other teenagers and young adults doing anything from making out, shitty party games, and sleeping. And she’s just...alone, nursing a beer and trying to think of something to do.

_ She could text Grace and— Not Grace. She’s not dating Grace anymore and this is half the reason she isn’t. Who else could she call? Vera, Janis, Shane— Nell. _

Sonny fumbles to pull her phone out, dropping it twice, once almost losing it between the cushions.

**fire hazard:** hey

**nellie** **🌹** **:** Hey

**fire hazard:** c an i come ovr??

**nellie** **🌹** **:** Are you drunk?

**fire hazard:** uuuh,hhh no

Nell didn’t reply quickly, Sonny kind of felt like she might  _ know _ she’s lying somehow and is waiting for her to fess up.

**nellie** **🌹** **:** If you’re seriously sober, then yes

**fire hazard:** ok welll totaly theorytical bu t   
**fire hazard:** wut if im notsober?

**nellie** **🌹** **:** But you’re totally sober?

**fire hazard:** yes

**nellie** **🌹** **:** If not, then you’re sleeping in your own bed   
**nellie** **🌹** **:** By yourself

**fire hazard:** oh ok   
**fire hazard:** i ne ed a r,ide tho   
**fire hazard:** im ata party in chciago

**nellie** **🌹** **:** At a party in Chicago, but totally sober?

**fire hazard:** ye s

**nellie** **🌹** **:** Ok   
**nellie** **🌹** **:** I’m in the city anyways, send me your location

**fire hazard:** sick

Nell arrives surprisingly quickly and gets out of her car to meet Sonny on the porch. Sonja’s quick to toss her shitty plastic cup into the shrubs off the porch, she’s drunk but not stupud. She told Nell she hadn’t been drinking. Although it seems Nell is preoccupied with the other partygoers on the porch catcalling and trying to get her attention on them.

Sonny sees her not-girlfriend roll her eyes once she’s finally in front of the shorter of the two, “These assholes aren’t  _ your _ friends are they?”

“Wh— No, I dunno anyone else here ‘sides Mikey and Glen,” Her words slur together and she winces.

Nell takes her hand and starts to lead her away from the house and to her camaro on the curb. The guys on the porch yell some crap about lesbians or something and Nell yells back without turning back. Sonja’s too busy trying to keep up without tripping on her own feet to pay any attention to the shouting.

Once they’re in the car, Nell pulls her pistol out of her shorts and sticks it back into its place in the glovebox.

_ Wait, she brought that with her just to get Sonny from the porch? _

__ She also takes it upon herself to make sure Sonja buckled the seatbelt in all the way. She lit herself a cigarette before beginning their drive back home. Sonny tried to sit content in the silence and lull of the radio playing to little success. Eventually talking when she realizes Nell also has some blacklight paint on her face and clothes.

“So...why were you...why were you in Chicago so late?”

“I was with a friend,” Nell gives a curt response.

“A friend or like...a  _ friend _ ? Like us?”

“Sonny, shut up. It doesn’t really matter, does it?”

_ Well, no. But it matters to her. And Nell refusing to answer digs an uncomfortable pit in her stomach. _

“I guess not. Jus’ curious,” Sonny pouts only for a moment before starting back up, “So, were you guys like...at the Angels’ party or somethin’?”

Nell tenses up, “Yeah. Vera had business with them and didn’t want to go alone.”

_ Vera? _

Sonny groans, “Vera? Seriously— like  _ Vera Peters _ ?  _ That’s  _ your friend?”

“Does this mean Mikey is her ex, Mike?”

“Yeah…”

“You have a shit taste in friends. How are you friends with that guy?”

“I ask myself that a whole lot, Nell,” Sonja leans against her door, “Does this mean you’re also sleeping with Vee or—“

Nell honest to god snorts before falling into a fit of wheezy laughter, “Hell no. Vera’s cool and all, but not at all my type.”

“Picky, I know way too many people who would jump at that chance.”

“Including you?”

“Nah, Vee kind of hates my guts. I’m best friends with Mikey, remember?”

“And if she didn’t hate you?” Nell’s eyes met Sonny’s when they came to a stop at a red light. That same warm feeling spreading in her chest, it wasn’t a challenge but it weighed the same.

She didn’t reply immediately, unsure of what to say as she bit her cheek, “No. I don’t think I would.”

She doesn’t explain herself, but she thinks that Nell understands anyways.

They sit in silence for a while longer before Nell is the one to break the tension, “So you were also at Tanu’s party earlier then?”

“Huh? Oh...yeah. Mike had me working the party, yknow the usual, selling party favors and the likes.”

“Selling— Wait, you’re a fucking drug dealer?” Nell’s voice raises.

“Woah! Hey! Shhhhh, don’t say that so loudly!”

“It’s fine, no one’s going to hear us right now. Just— I can’t believe you’re getting mixed up with Tanu and his goons.”

Sonny doesn’t like the tone Nell has, it sounds like she’s had experience with this situation and it didn’t end well. Or it ended well, just weird maybe?

They sit in another extended period of silence. Only stopping when the car stops and Sonny notices they’re at her house.

“Okay, I’ll talk to you later.”

_ What? _

“What are you talking about? Aren’t we—“

“I’m not stupid, dude. You’ve been drinking, now get out of my car.”

“What— Aw, c’mon, babe.”

Nell turned to better face Sonja and she realizes the older girl is on the verge of tears,  _ How long as she been like that? _

“Get out of my fucking car, Sonja.”

It takes a moment for her to process the information. And when she turns to open the door, Nell’s hand has a death grip on her shoulder, “Wait—“ And much quieter, “ _ Fuck. _ ”

Nell leans over the arm rest between their seats and plans a chaste kiss on the corner of Sonja’s lips, “Be careful with the Angels...and text me in the morning, okay? I think I’d like to go out.”

Dazed, Sonny simply nods with a sideways grin before getting out of the car. She watches as Nell drives off and wracks her brain in an attempt to make sense of the car ride. 

_ Nell was apathetic. Nell was laughing then she was angry. Nell was crying and then...then Nell kissed her and asked her to be careful… _

_ Talk about mixed signals. _

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are _super_ appreciated and welcome! I will literally reply to any and all of them, so long as they aren't hateful.
> 
> You can also find me at:  
>  **tumblr:** [transchloeprice](https://transchloeprice.tumblr.com/)


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